Why You Do What You Do: Understanding Your Patterns With Compassion
You Are Not Broken.
Many of the patterns you struggle with today are not random, and they’re not character flaws — they were once ways your mind and body tried to keep you safe.
In this post, we break down six common behaviors (procrastination, people-pleasing, shutdown, indecisiveness, self-sabotage, and burnout), why they happen, and how gentle awareness can help you shift them.
Indecisiveness
Possible reason:
You may fear choosing “wrong” or disappointing someone, so your mind analyzes every angle to avoid discomfort.
What to do:
Ask: “What matters most for this decision right now?”
This reduces overwhelm.
How to shift:
Choose a “good enough for now” option to build internal trust through action.
Doom Scrolling/Shutting Down
Possible reason:
Your system becomes overloaded and temporarily shuts down to protect you from further stress.
What to do:
Name it: “I’m overwhelmed right now.”
Reduce one sensory input (noise, light, tasks).
How to shift:
Ground with a slow exhale or simple sensory reset.
A sense of safety brings you back online.
Big Reactions to Small Triggers
Possible reason:
Your body may be responding to an old emotional memory rather than what’s happening in the present moment.
What to do:
Orient with:
3 things you see, 2 things you feel, 1 thing you hear.
How to shift:
Gently ask: “Is this reaction about now or something earlier?”
Awareness softens the intensity.
Feeling “Lazy” (Actually Burnout)
Possible reason:
Your body isn’t unmotivated — it’s conserving energy after running beyond capacity for too long.
What to do:
Remove or delay one non-essential task today.
How to shift:
Tell yourself: “Rest is repair, not failure.”
Self-Sabotage
Possible reason:
Growth, success, or closeness may feel risky because of old experiences — so your system slows things down to keep you safe.
What to do:
Ask: “What feels uncomfortable about this going well?”
How to shift:
Move forward in small, safe steps.
Your system adapts when the pace feels manageable.
People-Pleasing
Possible reason:
You may have learned that staying agreeable kept you safe or connected, so your system defaults to harmony over honesty.
What to do:
Pause before responding and ask: “What do I want here?”
How to shift:
Start with one small boundary like: “Let me think about it.”
Small steps retrain your nervous system.
Procrastination
Possible reason:
Your brain may read the task as overwhelming or high-pressure, triggering a freeze response.
What to do:
Break it down until it feels emotionally neutral.
Start with 2 minutes.
How to shift:
Remind yourself: “I’m just beginning — not finishing.”
Pressure drops, momentum rises.
When you understand why something is happening, you regain choice.
Small steps, not self-criticism, create real change.
If you're ready to understand your patterns with compassion and build meaningful change, GR Therapy Collective is here to help.
Learn more or schedule a consultation: www.grtherapycollective.com