Getting Started with Internal Family Systems (IFS)
A Beginner-Friendly Guide to “Parts Work” and Self-Understanding
Have you ever felt like “part of me wants one thing, but another part wants something else”? That experience is at the heart of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. IFS, sometimes called “parts work,” is a gentle yet powerful way of understanding ourselves and healing the wounded parts within us.
At GR Therapy Collective in Grand Rapids, MI, we use IFS to help clients build self-compassion, resolve inner conflicts, and create lasting change.
What Is IFS Therapy?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an evidence-based therapy that sees the mind as made up of different “parts.” These parts develop to help us survive, protect us from pain, or carry burdens from the past. Some parts may feel wounded, while others take on protective roles.
IFS also teaches that at our core, every person has a Self — a calm, compassionate, wise presence that can help guide and heal the parts. Therapy isn’t about “getting rid of” parts but instead learning to listen to them, understand their roles, and help them unburden old pain.
All of these parts are trying to help — even if their strategies don’t always serve us anymore.
How IFS Therapy Works
In an IFS session, your therapist may guide you to:
Notice a part of you — e.g., “the part that feels anxious before work.”
Get curious — instead of fighting it, you gently ask what it wants you to know.
Connect with Self energy — approaching parts with compassion instead of judgment.
Witness the story — hearing how a part developed, what it fears, and how it’s been trying to protect you.
Unburden old pain — helping the part let go of the weight it’s been carrying.
Restore balance — parts begin to trust the Self’s leadership and don’t have to work so hard.
Benefits of IFS Therapy
Clients often find that IFS helps them:
Build self-compassion instead of self-criticism
Heal trauma and shame carried since childhood
Reduce anxiety, depression, and inner conflict
Improve relationships by understanding triggers
Feel more balanced, whole, and authentic
What to Expect as a Beginner
You don’t need to “know” your parts before starting. Many clients discover them naturally in sessions. Early IFS work is often about slowing down, noticing inner experiences, and learning to approach yourself with curiosity.
IFS can be powerful on its own or combined with other therapies such as EMDR, mindfulness, or somatic approaches.
Common Everyday Questions IFS Can Help You Understand
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy helps people understand why certain emotional patterns keep showing up — even when you’re trying your best. Many adults come to therapy feeling anxious, depressed, burnt out, disconnected in their relationships, or simply not like themselves… and they don’t know why.
IFS gives language, clarity, and compassion to the inner experiences most people struggle with but rarely talk about.
“Why can’t I choose healthier options when I’m trying to feel better?”
This isn’t a lack of motivation — it’s inner conflict.
IFS sees this as different parts trying to meet different needs — one part wants change, another part is overwhelmed and wants comfort.
“Why do I slip into old patterns when I visit family or stressful environments?”
Younger parts still carry old emotions, roles, and fears.
IFS helps your adult Self stay grounded instead of getting pulled into old dynamics.
“Why do I shut down, get irritated, or react quickly in relationships?”
Relationship conflict often comes from protective parts — not your whole Self.
IFS helps you understand the intention behind each reaction so connection becomes easier.
“Why am I so burnt out, even when I’m doing everything ‘right’?”
Burnout is often too many parts trying to carry everything alone.
IFS helps them soften so you can feel relief, calm, and clarity again.
“Why do certain people or situations trigger me so deeply?”
Triggers are signals from parts that need attention, not signs of weakness.
IFS helps you respond with compassion instead of overwhelm.
Burnout is another area where IFS is deeply supportive. Many people feel like they’re functioning on empty — doing all the right things but still feeling depleted. IFS helps you understand the parts of you that have been carrying too much for too long, and allows them to finally feel supported instead of running your life from a place of exhaustion.
IFS FAQ: Simple Answers for Common Questions
❓ Is IFS helpful for anxiety and overwhelm?
Yes. Anxiety is often a protector part trying to keep you safe. IFS helps you understand the intention behind anxiety so it can soften instead of taking over.
❓ Can IFS help with burnout and emotional exhaustion?
Absolutely. Burnout often comes from parts of you carrying too much for too long. IFS helps these parts feel supported so you can heal without crashing.
❓ Is IFS useful for relationship conflict?
Yes. Many reactions in relationships (shutdown, irritation, defensiveness) come from protective parts trying to prevent hurt. IFS helps you respond from a calmer, clearer place.
Trusted Resources on IFS
If you’d like to explore more about Internal Family Systems:
IFS Institute: What is IFS?
IFS Guide: A Practical Introduction
Take the Next Step
If you’ve ever felt conflicted inside or longed for a kinder relationship with yourself, IFS may be the therapy that helps you get there.
Contact us today to schedule a consultation and learn how Internal Family Systems therapy can support your healing journey.
Internal Family Systems Therapy in Grand Rapids, MI
At GR Therapy Collective, our therapists are trained in IFS and offer this approach to support deep healing. Whether you’re working through trauma, anxiety, or simply want to know yourself better, IFS can be a transformative path.
We provide sessions in our Grand Rapids office and via secure telehealth across Michigan.
📍 Serving Grand Rapids, Ada, East Grand Rapids, Cascade, and surrounding West Michigan communities.