Getting Started with Internal Family Systems (IFS)
A Beginner-Friendly Guide to “Parts Work” and Self-Understanding
Have you ever felt like “part of me wants one thing, but another part wants something else”? That experience is at the heart of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. IFS, sometimes called “parts work,” is a gentle yet powerful way of understanding ourselves and healing the wounded parts within us.
At GR Therapy Collective in Grand Rapids, MI, we use IFS to help clients build self-compassion, resolve inner conflicts, and create lasting change.
What Is IFS Therapy?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is an evidence-based therapy that sees the mind as made up of different “parts.” These parts develop to help us survive, protect us from pain, or carry burdens from the past. Some parts may feel wounded, while others take on protective roles.
IFS also teaches that at our core, every person has a Self — a calm, compassionate, wise presence that can help guide and heal the parts. Therapy isn’t about “getting rid of” parts but instead learning to listen to them, understand their roles, and help them unburden old pain.
The Three Main Types of Parts
IFS often describes parts in three broad categories:
Exiles – hold painful emotions, memories, or beliefs from past experiences. They often feel young, vulnerable, or ashamed.
Managers – try to prevent pain by keeping us in control, organized, or avoidant. They might show up as perfectionism, caretaking, or overthinking.
Firefighters – react when pain bursts through. They try to “put out the fire” quickly, sometimes through impulsive behaviors like overeating, anger, numbing out, or substance use.
All of these parts are trying to help — even if their strategies don’t always serve us anymore.
How IFS Therapy Works
In an IFS session, your therapist may guide you to:
Notice a part of you — e.g., “the part that feels anxious before work.”
Get curious — instead of fighting it, you gently ask what it wants you to know.
Connect with Self energy — approaching parts with compassion instead of judgment.
Witness the story — hearing how a part developed, what it fears, and how it’s been trying to protect you.
Unburden old pain — helping the part let go of the weight it’s been carrying.
Restore balance — parts begin to trust the Self’s leadership and don’t have to work so hard.
Benefits of IFS Therapy
Clients often find that IFS helps them:
Build self-compassion instead of self-criticism
Heal trauma and shame carried since childhood
Reduce anxiety, depression, and inner conflict
Improve relationships by understanding triggers
Feel more balanced, whole, and authentic
What to Expect as a Beginner
You don’t need to “know” your parts before starting. Many clients discover them naturally in sessions. Early IFS work is often about slowing down, noticing inner experiences, and learning to approach yourself with curiosity.
IFS can be powerful on its own or combined with other therapies such as EMDR, mindfulness, or somatic approaches.
Trusted Resources on IFS
If you’d like to explore more about Internal Family Systems:
IFS Institute: What is IFS?
IFS Guide: A Practical Introduction
Take the Next Step
If you’ve ever felt conflicted inside or longed for a kinder relationship with yourself, IFS may be the therapy that helps you get there.
Contact us today to schedule a consultation and learn how Internal Family Systems therapy can support your healing journey.
Internal Family Systems Therapy in Grand Rapids, MI
At GR Therapy Collective, our therapists are trained in IFS and offer this approach to support deep healing. Whether you’re working through trauma, anxiety, or simply want to know yourself better, IFS can be a transformative path.
We provide sessions in our Grand Rapids office and via secure telehealth across Michigan.
📍 Serving Grand Rapids, Ada, East Grand Rapids, Cascade, and surrounding West Michigan communities.